5 Common Foods That Fuck You (And Not In A Nice Way)

You are one fat son of a bitch. Face it. Even if you don't admit it, it's true, so stop being a pussy. If you're anything like me, you should be arrested. Also, you have a much easier time not doing things you normally do than motivating yourself to do things you'd rather not do. Diets are great, but you're too busy and poor to eat well all the time. Sometimes you just have to have a Hungry Man dinner and pay for it later, both on the head and in the mirror. It's part of life... cheap food is bad for you.
However, there are certain things you can just avoid that will help you out. These are things you eat often and shouldn't... common foods that make you fat. I'm not talking about foods that are obviously not good for you, like your midnight lard and mayo binges. Even stupid people know those things aren't great for you, so you have to cut back on them. Use some goddamn common sense for fuck's sake. This is a list of 5 things you can and should stop (or seriously cut back on) eating right now.