Chicken Verde and Black Bean "Hangman's" Burritos

Ingredients
Black Beans
Mexican or spicy tomato sauce (look for it, asshole)
Chicken thighs (boneless, skinless)
Flour tortillas
Chili powder
Red pepper
Cumin
Dried onion flakes
Salt
Tomatoes, sour cream, yadda yadda, you know the drill






















As teachers do, I sometimes like to take three months or so off to reflect, relax, and get fucking blasted on whiskey and cheap prostitutes. If you didn't appreciate my absence, I sincerely apologize go fuck yourself.

Back in the depths of summer, I posted a variation burrito based on a simple and insanely tasty black bean mixture that I'd posted about that previous December. This is a lot like that post. Some of you may be thinking to yourselves, "Wow, this guy sucks. He knows, like, one recipe that he keeps repeating over and over again." You have a fair argument. I'd like to point out, however, that you're a moron and I hope you get diabetes. Like Paula Deen.
This go around, we'll be whipping up some chicken infused with salsa verde to compliment our black bean mixture. But, before we get started...

What the fuck is Salsa Verde?
Salsa verde is just like traditional salsa, except it's made with tomatillos instead of tomatoes. Tomatillos are a fruit related to both nightshade (which will kill you) and tobacco (which the government says will kill you, but you should probably smoke for 40 or 50 years just to be sure). It develops a rough, paper like husk on the vine... the freshest tomatillos will have a nice, even green husk. Compared to tomatoes, they have a zesty, tangy flavor not unlike licking the top of a battery.

Other Bloggers Doing Me

Recently, the owners of two really great blogs have prepared a couple of my recipes and posted about them. They were also highly complimentary of me, which should be met with immediate suspicion and disdain.

Chipster Diaries: A Gift from our Horned Friends: Goat Cheese Meatballs in a Badass Recipe Box

Dreaming of Mercy: The Great Burrito Adventure of 2011

Both blogs are excellent, so check them out. Also, while I have you here, I'm on Google+. So feel free to check that out too. 

Spicy Black Bean and Adobo Beef "Deadeye" Burritos

Ingredients
Black Beans
Mexican or spicy tomato sauce (El Pato is good and common)
Ground beef
Canned chipotle peppers in adobo sauce
Flour tortillas
Salsa con queso
Chili powder
Cumin
Garlic powder
Salt
Whatever the fuck else you want (tomatoes and sour cream, for instance)

Back in December, I posted what was essentially a recipe for a black bean burrito filling that makes the best bean and cheese burritos you'll ever shove into your face, all for under four dollars. I said at the time that you can add other stuff later. Well, welcome to later. To make Mexican Standoff Burritos into Deadeye burritos, all we need to add is some ground beef and a sexy mistress called adobo. But first...

What the fuck is a chipotle pepper, exactly?
Chipotles are extremely fucking popular right now, but you might be surprised to learn that there's really no such thing as a chipotle pepper, at least not in the same sense as a habanero, poblao, or jalapeño that you can pick off of a vine. Chipotle peppers are actually jalapeño peppers that have been over ripened, dried, and smoked; a method perfected in Northern Mexico. This process jacks up the heat and gives it that signature smoky flavor. Oh, and it's pronounced [chi-PO-tlay], not whatever the fuck you idiots have been calling it.

The Box on Twitter

Hello readers.
Look at Twitter.

Now at Fucking Badass Recipe Box.

Now back to Twitter.

Now back to the Box.

Sadly, the Box isn't on your Twitter, but if you stop being a colossal failure as a human being and follow the Box on Twitter, it could be.

Spicy Black Bean "Mexican Standoff" Burritos

Ingredients
Black Beans
Mexican or spicy tomato sauce (check the hispanic food aisle next to the Jarritos)
Flour tortillas
Shredded cheese
Chili powder
Cumin
Whatever the fuck else you want


This is an ultra-cheap, ultra-quick recipe (under $4 and 15 minutes makes enough to feed 3 people or 1.5 fat people) that will blow your fucking mind. I call these Mexican standoff burritos because, with three ingredients (beans, tomato sauce, and cheese), they're so good you'll want to shoot a motherfucker or two. It really is shocking how good these burritos are. They're so good, in fact, I've never added anything else to them, save a quick shot of hot sauce here and there. As an added bonus, they can be frozen (with a little plastic wrap and foil) and are almost as good after a few minutes in the microwave. Three kickass lunches for under $4? Can't fucking beat that now can you?