Taco Pie

Ingredients
Refrigerated crescent rolls
Hamburger
Mexican tomato sauce
sour cream
Shredded cheese
Nacho cheese flavored tortilla chips DORITOS! THEY'RE FUCKING DORITOS!
Cumin
Chili powder


Food is one of the biggest ways in which we define culture. Where you come from and what you ate growing up is a big factor in your personal culture. Scots eat haggis, Italians dig on pasta, and black people in the south chow on collard greens... we all know this. People (Americans at least) love food from other cultures, and I'm no exception. However, no one ever shares MY culture with others. I'm going to change that.

White Trash Cuisine

I was born white trash... that is, extremely financially disadvantaged Caucasian most often (but not always) found in the American south. That's just the way it is. Some people might be offended to be called trash. Well, it's the common fucking nomenclature so you might as well put on your big boy pants stop being a little bitch about it. It is what it is, and honestly, all things considered, I'm pretty proud of it.
Don't confuse southern white trash with the other common cultural group in the South... rednecks. We aren't, as a general rule, rednecks. I didn't grow up listening to country music, going to the rodeo, wearing a big hat, or shooting guns. While some things will overlap (mobile homes, for instance) that's all primarily redneck culture. White trash culture is born from extreme poverty and city life. We're the welfare cases all of the fucking Republicans love to throw under the bus... the "getting knocked up before your Sweet 16" crowd. Everything in white trash culture stems from poverty. I'm talking about families that live on less than five grand a year in many cases.
I don't mean this to turn into a Sally Struthers commercial. It's just the way it is, and as it stands, I wouldn't change much about the situation in which I was raised. White trash can grow up and do all right... plenty of people have.  But the ability to feed a family of four with your last six dollars isn't a skill you lose. When you have to make do, you start getting inventive. This is where white trash food was born. We're talking Hamburger Helper, SOS (shit on a shingle), Spam, friend bologna, Bar S hot dogs, Kool-Aid... do you find yourself feeling kind of bad about this? Well fucking quit it. I genuinely love this food, and still make it despite not really needing to. I just ask that you approach it like you would any other culture... and you can start with Taco Pie.

Spicy Black Bean "Mexican Standoff" Burritos

Ingredients
Black Beans
Mexican or spicy tomato sauce (check the hispanic food aisle next to the Jarritos)
Flour tortillas
Shredded cheese
Chili powder
Cumin
Whatever the fuck else you want


This is an ultra-cheap, ultra-quick recipe (under $4 and 15 minutes makes enough to feed 3 people or 1.5 fat people) that will blow your fucking mind. I call these Mexican standoff burritos because, with three ingredients (beans, tomato sauce, and cheese), they're so good you'll want to shoot a motherfucker or two. It really is shocking how good these burritos are. They're so good, in fact, I've never added anything else to them, save a quick shot of hot sauce here and there. As an added bonus, they can be frozen (with a little plastic wrap and foil) and are almost as good after a few minutes in the microwave. Three kickass lunches for under $4? Can't fucking beat that now can you?