Sunday, January 22, 2012

Chicken Verde and Black Bean "Hangman's" Burritos

Black Beans
Mexican or spicy tomato sauce (look for it, asshole)
Chicken thighs (boneless, skinless)
Flour tortillas
Chili powder
Red pepper
Dried onion flakes
Tomatoes, sour cream, yadda yadda, you know the drill

As teachers do, I sometimes like to take three months or so off to reflect, relax, and get fucking blasted on whiskey and cheap prostitutes. If you didn't appreciate my absence, I sincerely apologize go fuck yourself.

Back in the depths of summer, I posted a variation burrito based on a simple and insanely tasty black bean mixture that I'd posted about that previous December. This is a lot like that post. Some of you may be thinking to yourselves, "Wow, this guy sucks. He knows, like, one recipe that he keeps repeating over and over again." You have a fair argument. I'd like to point out, however, that you're a moron and I hope you get diabetes. Like Paula Deen.
This go around, we'll be whipping up some chicken infused with salsa verde to compliment our black bean mixture. But, before we get started...
What the fuck is Salsa Verde?
Salsa verde is just like traditional salsa, except it's made with tomatillos instead of tomatoes. Tomatillos are a fruit related to both nightshade (which will kill you) and tobacco (which the government says will kill you, but you should probably smoke for 40 or 50 years just to be sure). It develops a rough, paper like husk on the vine... the freshest tomatillos will have a nice, even green husk. Compared to tomatoes, they have a zesty, tangy flavor not unlike licking the top of a battery.

1. Prepare the black bean and tomato sauce recipe as directed here. Let them simmer while you're prepping you chicken.

2. Remove your chicken thighs from the package and, on a clean cutting board, slice them up into chunks somewhat resembling fajitas. We're using thigh meat because it's nice and flavorful. Discard the knife and cutting board immediately, or be a stupid asshole, reuse them, and contract salmonella poisoning. See if I care.

3. In a heated, non-stick skillet, add your chicken. Season it with red pepper and salt.

The chunks should be small enough that you can tell by looking at them when they need a flip, somewhere in the neighborhood of 4-6 minutes depending on your temp.

Once your chicken is thoroughly cooked, but not over cooked, use tongs to remove the pieces into a pot.

4. After cooking your chicken, your pan will have some leavings, like this. This is concentrated chicken and spice goodness. We want to utilize the shit this.

Over medium high heat, shake over a nice amount of onion flakes. Let these little bastards brown up for two minutes or so, before...

you add in your entire can of salsa verde. Keep it moving while the salsa heats up, mixing in all those chicken and oniony bits.

5. Once your salsa verde mixture is nice and warm, transfer it over to your pot, mix with the chicken, and let it simmer, covered, over medium heat for 5 to 7 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Everything is now nice and acquainted. It smells incredible and looks like vomit and pea soup, which is true for most Mexican cuisine.

6. On a burrito shell, add a liberal dollop of your bean mixture (which you should have mashed by now), verde chicken, cheese, and whatever else. If you want to be all fancy, you can use only pepper jack cheese and call these Mexican flag burritos. But, I like cheddar, so fuck being fancy. Fold your burritos up, plate, and enjoy.


  1. I am so hungry for the top of a battery, right now. DAMN. Feels good to be back reading yo blog, my ninja.
    Foooood on.